Sunday, June 14, 2009

Mumbai Spirals Day 2: 1'st of May, Friday

As in humans, quirks are really what make a city. Rest is all just details.

Mumbai is blessed with many such. Local trains, scary monsoons, smiling terrorists, mithun chakrovarty, parsis, iranian restaurents, double-decker busses, long but polite queques, a chalu language, both reliance and tatas, fiat kalli-peeli taxis, nuclear reactors, electricity realiability surcharge, one shoe-house and millions of match-box ones, etc etc. Each quirk mentioned here, is in itself material enough for a popular volume of encyclopedia. Fertile ground for anyone with a little bit of imagination and license to come up with blockbuster hollywood movies, bollywood potboilers and "arty" cinema, theatre, and revolting reality shows. Imagine what brilliance someone with a twisted imagination and an ulmost unlimited license to run amok with facts can come up with. You get a good idea about the tabloid i read each night.
While at work, the folks at Mumbai Mirror seem to save the best of their opinions and advice for the entertainment section. It almost seems like after being world weary reporting on slums, hospitals, crime, blocked drains etc. they finally get a chance to let their pent up creativity flow in this section. And the results are facinating, to say the least. My travels through the spirals of the May calender took me to the 1'st of May issue. It was delight on this count. The issue had a one full page analysis on the future of the middle finger (in the election season this article sought to give advice to stars about the right pose to strike after the deed is done), a feature article on Kareena Kapoor giving advice to her ex. (with a pic of a very sincere and thoughtful Saif looking on nearby), an article invitingly titled DATE-TRAP on Abhi-Ash, and and small section on Kamal Khan's next blockbuster- Deshdrohi 2.

Of course the post mortem of the middle finger was the most interesting of the lot. In the words of the reporter, "when celebs posed for the cameras after stepping outside polling booths, how they choose to provide evidence of their democratic leanings was a crucial indicator of their funk." Huh?? Celebs who made the mirror cut were Aamir Khan (Aamir Knows what to show) and Shatrughan Sinha's family (Bihar ke Ungliyaan). Defaulters were chastised in Mirror's own unique way. Abhishek Bacchan was adviced to "understand the repurcussions of image better", Govinda and Bhagyashree were given up as no-hopers, (they proved crasser than their on screen personas) whereas John Abraham's stance was flirtingly chided as "John for some reason seems to pull off the middle finger with an endearing mix of boyish vulnerability and rakish charm."
Of course there was no reference to any possibility of celebrities being gleeful about getting a chance to merrily show their middle finger to the assembled paparazi in the feature.


donscave said...

mithun da is property of ooty

donscave said...

i think ur right on the middle finger thing...the celebs were showing it to the paparazzi as a double entendre but the loonies and their editors didn't get it or pretended not to!!

Nishith said...

i promptly apologize to you and our great leader and distributor of free colour television sets, M. Karunanidhi for this indiscrition. I humbly hope he will not stop the flow of Kaveri river water to my home taps for this.

I henceforth request all to please replace Mithun Chakrovorty with Bappi Lahiri in my article.

donscave said...

and isnt bappi da the property of kolkatta?